Moving a young child

[EmJo]

It looks like DH and I will be able to seriously look at buying a 1-2 acre place within the next 3 or 4 years. My main concern is DS. He's three now, and will probably have made a few friends in this area and among playgroups by the time we want to get out of Dodge. Should I be concerned about uprooting him? We'll probably only be about 30-45 minutes away, so it's not like we'll never be able to visit friends again. Just maybe not as often.

Or do boys just not care about things like that? I know relationships is a "girl thing." Thoughts, please? TIA. 

[June]

Most of my children spent their preschool years as air force brats.  They would be uprooted at the drop of a hat and relocated to a new continent.  It has been my experience that the average three year old will develop a close relationship with a playmate in about twenty minutes, even when they don't share a common language;  and they forget them just as fast.  In most cases they were more happy to see the furniture when it finally arrived than they were to hear news of old playmates.
A child of that age is concerned with one question.  What will become of me?  By the time toys have been put away in the new home they can see that life is pretty much going to go on as it always has.
When my husband took off. my daughter was only three and I agonized about the effect that this would have upon her future mental health, and sure enough, the subject came up.  "Will daddy ever come home?" she asked.  I went into my speach about I didn't know if he would return and that his leaving had nothing to do with loving her, on and on, blah blah blah, and she got real quiet for about an hour.
The scars are forming, I thought.  Finally she asked if we would ever get a new daddy.  I again assured her that I could not answer that question, but that she would be loved forevermore in any case.  She thought about that for a while and then said, "If we do get a new daddy, will you find one that can afford to buy me a pony?"
Children are selfish little monsters.  They are made to bounce.  Love them. Enjoy them. They don't stay young for long.
June.

[julieduck]

You should definitely get the land if it's going to help you become self-sufficient. 

[EmJo]

June, we won't be moving until DS is 6 or 7. I definitely wouldn't have any concerns if we were uprooting now...

One thought I have -- in Nina Plank's bk Real Food, she talks about how her parents up and decided to become farmers. She doesn't go into how that affected her and her sibling's lives (they were suburbanites, I think), but she seems to have turned out okay.

[longbskt]

Kids are very resilient and will weather a move much easier than adults will.  That said, I'd only think twice about it if they were in their middle school or high school years.  That can be a tough age.

[June]

EmJo.  Children are an important part of our lives and we all want to do what's best for them, but we have to remember that they are not able to decide what's best.  If I ask my great grands what would be best, a pony now or money in the bank in case they need braces later, I'm sure that none of them would vote for the braces.  Even if you make a wrong choice occasionally, you have to do what will be best for them in the long run.  Short of wrapping them in duck tape and keeping them in the basement, you will not do any long term damage.  Trauma is caused by repeated abuse, not by decisions that were made out of  love.
We all do things that our children resent.  We allow strange people in white to stick needles in them, when they are already feeling bad enough just from having an earache.  We make our teenagers stay home and do their homework when they would rather be hot-rodding around the county in our cars.   When my daughter was ten I did not allow her to go to school looking like Dolly Parton on a bad hair day.  I'm sure that she hated to have a dinosaur for a mother.  Heck, I even forced my boys to bathe before they went to bed.  How's that for abuse?
Once upon a time your parents were in charge.  Now you are in charge.  One of these days, your children will be parents and they will be in charge.  That's when you get to sit back, relax and laugh your fool head off.
June. 

[julieduck]

That's right, June.  And they usually get out of the duck tape anyway.    Basically, if parents are happy then kids are happy. 

[EmJo]

  Too, funny, Julie!

June, thanks for the encouragement. I guess I knew that deep down. Just needed to hear someone else say it. DS seems to be pretty laid back and flexible, anyway, like his daddy.

Maybe I'm projecting my own feelings...gee, what will become of my friendships. Which is dumb, b/c at this point I hardly ever see my friends, anyway, and 2 of my friends already live 30 min away. Besides, we aren't going to be moving into the boondocks...I think.  

[Johnny-Max]

Do not worry about moving him to his final home where he will help build a good solid homestead life. He will be a part of the process and will become a much better person for it. You are his family and at that age friends come ad go, but family is for ever.

[EmJo]

AMEN! Thanks for the encouragement.